COLLEGE FOOTBALL - WEEK 5
Aaaand, we’re back! Two weeks in a row, that’s a trend! TOB is supposed to be on the third tee box at Far Oaks right about now, but due to some complications, sitting at the dining room table writing an article it is. It’s been a while since TOB was irritated by a commercial, but insurance companies are back at it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQUfsq-0z-s
Several things going on here. The lead character appears to be driving a four door Ford Fiesta, or something similar. A guy in his mid-30’s pulls up beside him in a Charger and challenges him to a race. By passing on said challenge, the main character is seen as having self-restraint. This is about as likely as Usain Bolt challenging me to a foot race, only to have me think better of it for health purposes. Humblebrag alert: TOB drives a very high performance vehicle. In the three years of driving said vehicle, only once has a person challenged me to a race, and zero times has TOB challenged someone. It is hard to believe people in street legal race cars go around trying to race grocery getters, even in the south. If the point of this commercial is that this fella doesn’t do anything to affect his discount, may show him avoiding a speed bump.
TOB is back home this week, should be able to take in quite a bit of football before a last minute wedding. Apparently one good showing at pool party will get you invited to a wedding (well, it got TOB’s special lady invited to a bachelorette party, which led to the wedding invite). Hooray for free drinks and wedding cake! Wait, what, I have to bring a gift…it’s in St. Charles…it starts at 4…it’s during college football season…are you sure it wasn’t just TOB’s special lady that was invited?!
One more shout out: If you happen to live in the south county area and get some version of the “SunCrest Call” or “Green Park Call,” do not ignore this local newspaper. It is insightful as well as hilarious. On the surface it appears to be the mundane happenings of suburban USA…and it is, except it doesn’t realize its satire. It’s the shows “Parks and Rec” mixed with “Reno 911”. Letters to the editor bickering over politics, local police stories involving stolen bicycles, even the occasional poll question (this week: Should the man accused of stabbing his neighbor’s dog be charged with a felony? – Results: 84% yes / 10% no / 5% undecided / 1% no opinion). This poll is completely voluntary, and you have to go to the website to respond. 1% of people went to the website, scrolled down to the poll question, just to say they have no opinion.
Why did I sit down at the computer this morning? Oh yeah, College Football! Still not a great slate of games this week. With conference games in full swing, that usually isn’t the case. However, it seems that the last few years the conferences are getting incredibly top heavy. Clemson runs the ACC, Bama and Georgia the SEC, Ohio State the BIG10, OU the BIG12. There are a few teams that pop up from time to time (LSU, Auburn, Wisconsin, Michigan (j/k), Texas). It’s possible that this is the way College Football has always been, and having a website and doing very surface level research has revealed it. College Football has always been about the haves and have nots. It’s what pro sports tries (and usually succeeds) to avoid with the draft. Clemson and Alabama have the best players this year, and by continuing to win they will get even better players next year. The PAC12 sucks, and by sucking their player pool will get worse next year (unless Urban Meyer joins the conference). There are still a few good games this week, and perhaps TOB is nostalgic about a time that didn’t really even exist, when there would be 10 good games every Saturday. The games worth mentioning:
· Arizona State defeats Cal (24-17) – Yep, PAC12 still sucks.
· Penn State defeats Maryland (59-0) – Penn State making a charge in the BIG10, could be the only real opponent for Ohio State in the East. Wisconsin future bet looking better by the day. Remember when Maryland was good? That was a fun two weeks…
· 18 Virginia at 10 Notre Dame (-10.5) – Notre Dame had a good showing last week, certainly something to build on. TOB stands by not wanting ND in the playoff, just a nice big bowl against a solid SEC opponent. Virginia is ranked 18 because…well…someone has to be. They are 4-0 with a win over Florida State, which used to be something to write home about (did anyone ever actually write home about anything?). There other wins: Pitt, William and Mary, Old Dominion. Take the Irish and give the points, UVA is a paper tiger (shout out to Bill Burr’s new special, “Paper Tiger”).
· Mississippi State at 7 Auburn (-9.5) – Always a tough conference game, MSU plays a wide open brand of football, unlike most of the SEC. Good test for Auburn at home. If they can cover TOB will deem them the real deal (write home about that!).
That’s pretty much it. As TOB lamented earlier, even the conference games kind of suck (Ole Miss vs Bama; Clemson vs UNC; OU vs Texas Tech; Ohio State vs Nebraska)
Further bitching/facts about the cupcake season (which may just be the season):
· Week 1 average margin of victory for top 5 teams: 30.5
· Week 2 average margin of victory for top 5 teams: 42.5
· Week 3 average margin of victory for top 5 teams: 39.8
· Week 4 average margin of victory for to 5 teams: 38.5
· Week 5 average point spread for the top 5 teams (2 have a bye): 27
Will dive back into the rankings in a few weeks.
“Countdown Until Urban Meyer Takes a D1 Job.” Well, well, well. The BIG10 may be back on the table. Unclear whether Urban Meyer would even want to coach at Michigan, but it would be pretty hilarious for him to take over after his alleged “rival” is fired. Though their “rivalry” seems to only really get noticed by one side. Reminds TOB of Cards/Cubs prior to 2016…ah, the good old days…
· UCLA – 2:1
· Tennessee – 5:1
· USC: 8:1
· Michigan: 20:1
· Remains analyst: 100:1
Though TOB has not been picking recently (turns out, TOB is just not that good at gambling), Robert the Cheech has been sending in picks, let’s see how he has been doing:
Robert the Cheech
Week 1: 1-4 - Yikes
Week 2: 5-0 – Yeah Bobby (6-4)
Week 3: 3-2 – Typical (9-6)
Week 4: 3-2 (12-8)
· Miss State -6 over Kentucky - W
· South Carolina +9.5 over Mizzou - L
· Cuse -4.5 over Western Michigan - W
· Wisconsin -3.5 over Michigan - W
· Northwestern +8.5 over Michigan State – L
Week 5:
· · Wisconsin -24 over Northwestern
· Michigan State -14 over Indiana
· Notre Dame -10.5 over UVA
· Auburn -10 over MSU
· Ohio State -17 over Nebraska
“This CFB season has been lame, go with the favorites to blow them out.” – Cheech, joining us via text
TOB
Week 1: 2-2 with 1 push – slowly losing money
Week 2: push
Week 3: push
Week 4: 3-2 (5-4-1)
· LSU -24 over Vandy - W
· Cal +3 over Ole Miss - W
· Auburn +4 over A&M - W
· Oregon vs Stanford OVER 57 - L
· Texas -7 over Oklahoma State – L
Week 5:
· Notre Dame -10.5 over UVA – see previous analysis
· Wisconsin -24 over Northwestern – Wisconsin is on a roll, they want to crack that top 5 if any of the top teams happen to lose (unlikely)
· USC +11 over Washington – Upset Alert!
· Utah -6 over Washington State – Utah needs a few blowouts to get back into respectability
· BYU -2.5 over Toledo – MACtion baby!
From last weeks’ article: “TOB would be very happy with a 6-9 point loss here, lose once more, and go to a nice Bowl.” Love when a plan comes together.
Tomorrow TOB and his personal rival / legal council will be attending the Cards/Cubs game at Busch Stadium. This is the final game of the season, and could have serious playoff implications if the Cardinals cannot beat the Cubs today (or if the Brewers just continue to win). Also, loyal readers will recall that TOB and said personal rival have a three year long bet involving Jason Heyward and Dexter Fowler. The bet is cumulative OPS over three full seasons (2017-2019). Well, we are down to the final two games of the bet, and both players are at .741. It appears Heyward is not going to play the weekend with the Cubs out of the playoffs and getting some young guys playing time. So…it all comes down to if Dexter Fowler can get three hits in his final 8-9 at bats. Unlikely…
GO IRISH!
-Tonyonball
