Well well well, just as Tonyonball predicted, the Boilermakers made a game of it against Minnesota, or at least covered the 17.5 point spread. You're welcome everyone. Wait, what's that, all four other picks were incorrect? Moving on...
Pointless Rant Alert: Something that has driven Tonyonball crazy for about 25 years is when sports announcers feel the need to make cross sport comparisons. "He's like a quarterback on the court (referring to a point guard)." "He's like a point guard out there the way he distributes the ball (referring to a centerman in ice hockey)." "He goes up like a power forward grabbing a rebound (referring to a tight end or wide receiver making a jumping catch)." "That shortstop handles balls like a Chaz Michael Michaels" So maybe the last one is more of a paraphrase, but I swear I've heard it! This happens constantly and it seems to be for a couple of reasons:
- The announcer is lazy and is having a hard time describing how well a point guard is distributing the ball so they reference another sport to make themselves seem well rounded.
- The announcer wants you to know that they are very familiar with other sports and are fully capable of making cross sport analogies.
- The announcer is drunk and thinks he/she is announcing a different sport (my personal favorite, especially for Big 10 football games that kick off at 11 am).
"But Tonyonball, what would you have them do? What if a hockey fan is watching basketball and having a hard time grasping what is going on?" - Joe Buck (probably)
How about doing some contemporary or historical comparisons. This player sees the floor as well as Hall of Famer X, or Current All-Star Y. Or show some floor level camera angles. The most impressive thing about most sports is the speed of the game. The further away, the slower it appears. When the camera dips down below the quarterback and the play develops in front of him, it's quite a scene. Hardcore and even casual fans can appreciate the speed at which the decisions are made, especially when the only view is 8-10 big sweaty men (not the benefit of a birds eye view of the open wide receiver that he NEVER seems to throw to).
Anything else will be better. These comparisons make no sense when used in other professions. Wow, the way that guy drives that 18 wheeler reminds me of an electrician running some low voltage wiring, just masterful. AH! Have you seen Tonyonball write his columns, he's like a tree trimmer the way he pears down his articles from way too long, to just too long. What is the deal with pears anyway, are they some sort of mutated apple? Don't we have enough kinds of apples, do we need some oddly shaped super dense ones too? Keep those things away from me. Okay, we are officially off track, back to the picks...
Cheech's Picks (Cheech's current record - 3-7 OUCH!):
- Tennessee -13.5 over Kentucky, because their mascot is a dog, and dogs are better than cats.
- Navy +1 over Tulsa, because they beat Notre Dame on the road, so they must be awesome.
- Auburn -10 over Georgia, because Mizzou should have beat Georgia, so they must suck. But really, I know it's a road game in the SEC (whoopdeedoo, so scary) but the #9 team in the country is only favored by 10 against a team that lost at home to Vanderbilt? A team that lost by 14 to unranked Florida? I'm sure this game will go against me, but that just means that everyone sucks in college football this year except for like 5 teams.
- Vandy +3.5 over Mizzou, because Mizzou lost at home ot Georgia and Georgia lost at home to Vandy, so surely Vandy is better than Mizzou, especially w/ 3.5 points, right? I'll wear my Mizzou shirt to ensure that I get this pick right.
- Nebraska -7 over Minnesota, because...hmmm...i dont' know, who cares.
Tonyonball's Picks (Tonyonball's current record - 3-7 Not too bad!):
- West Virginia +2 over Texas - I just don't think Texas is good. They are fighting for their coach's job, but they don't have the talent for that to matter
- Oklahoma -17.5 over Baylor - OU thinks they can still make it into the playoff if chaos ensues (it has been). They need a few blowout wins for that to happen though.
- Auburn -10.5 over Georgia - see above
- USC +8.5 over Wash - I still don't believe in Washington. Not sure why, they just seem like they shouldn't be good. Plus, they know if they win out they can get into the playoff, but one loss will sink them. Some of those players are probably going to be getting the tight cheeks as we get toward the end of the season.
- Michigan -21.5 over Iowa - Jim Harbaugh is a crazy person
Have a great weekend, college basketball is starting up, it's a great time of year!
Tony
