Can't Turn a Ho Into a Housewife

Conference Championship weekend, the games all of these players have dreamt about for years…oh wait, some of the players are sitting out?  The games don’t affect the playoff aside from minor seeding?  What happened to the games I love?  This is why we can’t have nice things.  Well, on to more positive news.

Lane Kiffin has never been more famous.  Is he the best coach in college football?  Not hardly.  Will he drop whatever he’s doing if a better opportunity comes along, no matter how marginally better?  Yep.  Better college coaches off the top of my head:  Kirby Smart, Ryan Day, Dan Lanning, Curt Cignetti, Marcus Freeman, Matt Rhule, Steve Sarkesian, Brian Kelly (jk).  Lane Kiffin isn’t the belle of the ball, he’s the whore who’s still ripping shots at 2 am when the bar is closing down.  She’s not wife material, but you’ll definitely get laid (and feel bad about the whole time).   

It’s been said by nearly everywhere, so why not here too…the CFB calendar is what made this so weird.  Is it?  Should players not be able to start looking around at other teams right now if their season is over (most schools do not have another game, or if they do it’s a minor bowl).  Now may be the time to enroll in a spring semester at a new school to start spring practice and have a jumpstart next season.  TOB contends that the expanded playoff made this weird.  Two years ago this would have been minor news.  Lane Kiffin leaves and Ole Miss has their defensive coordinator coach them in the Gator Bowl.  Most of their best players sit out to start NFL draft prep, life goes on.  With the expanded playoff, this will start happening more and more, likely at whatever Group of 5 school is making the playoff (because that coach will be the next hot guy going to Auburn or Florida…or LSU in a few years).  Confirmed, the expanded playoff ruined everything. 

Tom Brady is crushing these commercials that are advertising…Tom Brady I guess?  TOB does not believe he is particularly funny, or even has a personality.  However, he does understand pattern matching and seems to have adopted a sense of humor in the same way Funny Bot did on South Park. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtZkowHb-IY

Quick advertisement idea for Grant’s Farm (a TOB and family favorite), “Boats and Ho’s” style music video called, “Goats and Does.”  TOB will supply the lyrics, you supply the animals.  Let’s do this just in time for the spring push!

Despite the lack of significance in the SEC and BIG10 Championship games, TOB will watch.  You win CFB, you always do.  Much more impactful, the BIG12 and ACC title games (one of which is currently airing in the background).  If somehow Texas Tech and / or Virginia lose, TOB has no idea.  Likely BYU and Texas Tech are still in, Duke would not be even while winning the ACC, which is hilarious.  Assuming Texas Tech and Virginia win (most likely), they both get in easily and the rest of the field goes like this:

·         SEC – Georgia, Bama, Ole Miss, Texas A&M

·         BIG10 – Ohio State, Indiana, Oregon

·         Tulane

·         Notre Dame / Miami / Oklahoma

Most shows are focused on the last spot boiling down to Notre Dame and Miami, the edge to Miami because they beat ND early in the season.  While it was three points, and AT Miami, TOB would be making the same argument in reverse if ND had prevailed, so we will add Oklahoma to the chat to prevent bias.  Resumes for all three:

Notre Dame: Two quality losses (to top 12 teams), only one top 25 win (USC)

Miami: Two bad losses (to unranked teams), one top 25 win (ND)

Oklahoma: Two quality losses (to top 13 teams), two top 25 wins (Michigan & Bama)

Even though it would be 5 SEC teams, TOB would vote for Oklahoma in this scenario.

Enjoy the games, even the ones that don’t matter!

Topics to keep you coming back:

·         Can the BIG10 have some of the better teams play each other before the Championship game?

·         TOB’s fix for the college football playoff that will revolutionalize (LOB word) the whole system

·         Why does college football change the rules for the last two minutes of the game to benefit the offense? We explore what this would look like in other sports

·         How big does a city have to be for it to be a stupid question to ask someone if they know a person just because they both live in said city (hint, St. Louis is too big)

Enjoy the games, even the ones that don’t matter!

-TOB