Welcome to my new weekly (not-likely) post that will appear on Sundays (same) as part of the new Tonyonball.com. The goal is to cover a wide range of soccer topics including the EPL, MLS, US national teams, bad refereeing, and local teams like Mug Club FC (part of the Wednesday Men’s Division 2/3 indoor league at Wide World of Sports in Ann Arbor) and the Ypsi Scousers of the MUSL Over-30 4th Division. The format will be pretty similar to that thing that one guy did for SI.com a long time ago before he somehow conned his way into a scouting job at Liverpool FC before being outed as a fake and being fired a couple of months later. You remember him, right? Just me?
Anyway, this week’s post will be relatively short since I’m writing this as of Saturday morning and we’re hosting a bbq in a few hours and I have to get to cooking. Smoked tri-tip and grilled chicken, the best. I even made that really spicy bbq sauce that my wife hates.
Disclaimer: If any incorrect facts make their way into the final drafts of these posts, it’s my editor’s fault. Also, I’m going to assume that my readers have a decent understanding of world soccer so I’m not going to explain every detail about who’s who and what teams are from where. Look it up. And if you don’t want to, that’s cool too, just stick around for the non-jokes.
1) Pep - good, Mourinho - bad: Admittedly, this topic practically writes itself, but I can’t help myself. It’s just too fun to watch United struggle against Feyenoord on Thursday in the Europa League, especially after Mourinho was bitching earlier in week how playing in the Europa League is going to hurt his chances of success domestically and how English soccer doesn’t help out its club teams playing in European matches with preferred scheduling. Seriously, this guy has more built in excuses than somebody with a lot of built in excuses. All this after he spent a bazillion dollars in the offseason on some of the best players in the world.
Meanwhile, on the blue side of Manchester, Pep Guardiola already has Man City looking like Barcelona 1B. I know he also brought in a lot of new talent (Stones, Bravo, Iheanacho, Gundogun, Nolito, shit that is a lot), but he still didn’t spend nearly as much money as Mourinho. Plus, he instantly turned Sterling into a good player again and somehow has De Bruyne playing even better than before. Did you guys watch the game just now? That free kick, that assist! I know he was previously the most expensive player ever bought by an EPL team, but United totally blew that out of the water this year when they brought in Pogba, and De Bruyne is looking like twice the player Pogba could ever hope to be. And he’s a ginger! I know some of you will be pretty stoked about that. Lastly, c’mon Nolito. Who gets a red card in the 86th minute up 4-0 with a half-hearted head-butt? At least do some damage if you’re going to be dick.
2) Pulisic is the real deal: I know everyone is preaching about keeping the hype machine (is that a thing?) turned down with this kid, but seriously, he’s too good. At 17, he’s already the best player on the US national team and is as good as peak Donovan. For real. He’s arguably a better dribbler than anyone we’ve ever had and isn’t afraid to use it either. He’s better in tight spaces than almost anyone in the national team system. He’s composed and has great vision. He can finish. He’s 17! I thought that after Dortmund spend a bunch of money this offseason and brought in about 3 top level guys who should presumably be ahead of him on the depth chart that he might not get much time this season. But he started on Wednesday in the Champions League (against a crap team) and was involved in the offense as much as anyone. Dibbling by players, making intelligent runs to draw defenders out of position, finding the right pass. I honestly think he could be one of the top 10 non-Bayern players in the Bundesliga, or become a key player for a top 5 EPL team. The US has literally never had a field player reach that level before.
3) Mug Club FC off to a good start: Oh how a few players can make a difference. Just last session, Mug Club finished dead last. Things were bleak with guys not showing up, a complete lack of creativity on offense, and stretches of poor effort and optional man-marking on defense. But a few smart personnel changes by management (see-ya later Andrew, Jim, and Hernan: welcome back Ronnie, Blair, and Dan!) and MCFC is suddenly a new team, leading the division with a 3-0 start. Off the ball movement is much improved, ball possession is up from 42% last session to 61% this session, and players are finally being accountable for their man on defense, at least until Craig and Killian start playing again. Boom ya!
4) Ypsi Scousers are showing improvement in the second half of the season: A similar trend can be seen in the Ypsi Scousers, with the team winning its last 2 games. What is the common element between Mug Club and the Scousers? You tell me. But here’s a hint: 6 goals and 3 assists in the last 4 games from a certain midfielder.
Looking forward to next week, we’ll potentially be covering the return of Landon Donovan, Rooney to MLS, Liverpool’s resurgence (again), and hopefully the continued success of Mug Club FC and the Ypsi Scousers (unlikely). Check ya later.
-Cheech (soccer fan, non-communist)