COLLEGE FOOTBALL – Bowling! – 2k18
Going to go straight to the picks this week for the first batch of bowl games. As promised, TOB has a guest picker for all bowls this year. Robert the Cheech has retired to Michigan, growing a Grizzly Adams-esque beard, so we now have TOB’s #1 fan (current rankings available at Tonyonball.com/fanranks), Sarah Bagley-Whealan, providing keen insight to the world of college football bowls. But first, instead of a funny commercial, a commercial currently irritating TOB. Though not as upsetting as the girl who doesn’t know what a computer is, this commercial is so lame that it has to tell you why it’s funny (unfortunately, looking through the archives, this also appears to be a major strategy of TOB).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TL8wTuck98o
It’s a decent concept, a cookie beats a man at paper, rock, scissors (Farkle for those in the know), but then to be forced to explain why the guy is such a dum-dum for not playing scissors? What focus groups saw this and didn’t get it? Those people are the real problem. The only silver lining to this commercial is the victory of a Ginger. For that, TOB is very thankful. A much better depiction of the paper/rock/scissors dilemma:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgDbafji3xI
That’s how you do it! Not sure what that has to do with an Android phone, but I’m in!
All the following games occur between 12/15 and 12/21.
Guest picks first:
LA Lafayette (+3) over Tulane **Ragin’ Cajuns 100%
Utah State (-7.5) over North Texas **I’ve driven past North Texas University; it appears to be a wasteland.
Arizona State (+4.5) over Fresno State **Arizona State knows how to party and the bowl is in Las Vegas, so….
Eastern Michigan (+1) over GA Southern *** are they the same as western Michigan??
App State (-7) over Middle Tennessee ** they beat Michigan that one time…
Northern Illinois (+2.5) over UAB *** Go Huskies!! I picked them because of the dog…obvi
Ohio (-3) over San Diego State ** I always forget about THE Ohio University – a quick google search will tell you Ohio University is older than Ohio State, so it clearly deserves the “The” title.
Toledo (-6.5) over Florida International ** Toledo is in Ohio…I’m going 2 for 2 here
Marshall (-2.5) over South Florida ** Is Charlie strong still coaching there?
Western Michigan (+12) over BYU ** #neverforget the mid major conference champion
TOB’s revisited picks:
Tulane (-3) over LA Lafayette – Ah the AutoNation Cure Bowl, always a classic. I guess they are curing people without cars? Do the players get a car if they win the game? Or is the “Cure” playing the halftime show? Too much to research, so TOB will go with one of the few teams that do not end in “s”. Go Green Wave!
North Texas (+7.5) over Utah State – New Mexico Bowl, oddly enough they play this in Tuscon. Very Progressive. Nailed it. TOB usually goes against directional schools…unless they are playing a state school.
Fresno State (-4.5) over Arizona State – Mitsubishi Motors Bowl. Wow, people who love football must also love cars. TOB is baffled at how Arizona State won 7 games when coach Herm Edwards didn’t know their mascot is a Sun Devil (his response was, “I’m a man of faith, don’t be talking about no devils around here.” Well, it was close to that, look it up, good 5 minutes of awkwardness)
GA Southern (-1) over Eastern Michigan – Raycom Media Camellia Bowl. WTF? In a battle of directional schools, always take the southern most team.
App State (-7) over Middle Tennessee – R+L Carriers Bowl. For having been around for quite some time, TOB is still not sure what R+L Carries. Are they a freight company? Too little time to know all things. App State is a legit D1 program these days, TOB would probably take them over UCF +7. Shots fired!
UAB (-2.5) over Northern Illinois – Cheribundi Boca Raton Bowl…right. UAB seems like they should be good at everything, they always have good athletes. Northern Illinois…not so much.
Ohio (-3) over San Diego State – DXL Frisco Bowl – A bowl game for large people, real nice. San Diego State should be all fired up since they are now the only team in San Diego, yet being from Southern California TOB finds it hard to believe they get fired up about anything beyond Taco Tuesdays.
Marshall (-2.5) over South Florida – Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl – TOB mows his own lawn (despite all of this internet fame, TOB is still a relatively down to earth guy. Just kidding, but seriously), but it is an electric mower. Doubtful that is the crowd Bad Boy Mowers is looking for. That said, is Matthew McConaughey still coaching at Marshall? Alright, alright, alright…
Toledo (-6.5) over Florida International – Makers Wanted Bahamas Bowl. Is this Makers Mark? Nice, finally getting some booze to sponsor college games. FIU once had a guy use his helmet as a weapon. TOB cannot condone that behavior…publicly.
Western Michigan (+12) over BYU – Famous Idaho Potato Bowl. Correction, TOB usually picks directional schools…especially when the other team is wearing magic underpants.
Next week, more of the same! Yay for recycled content!
GO IRISH!
-Tonyonball
