BASEBALL - DOG DAYS OF SUMMER
We made it, another article in under a week! I really need to get a job…nah, maybe next week. Baseball is in its dog days where the games just kind of drag on and we are all waiting for September to start scoreboard watching. The Cubs cannot seem to get it together, which is prolonging the Cardinals and Brewers misery. The Dodgers may clinch a playoff spot before September, which seems ridiculous, especially since they are in the toughest division in baseball. Just waiting for Magic to pick up Giancarlo Stanton’s contract and throw him in between Bellinger and Turner. Speaking of the Dodgers and Magic, on a recent podcast Dodger’s manager Dave Robert’s was asked about best advice Magic Johnson has given him. His response, “Make the people around you better.” That’s great and all, but the only advice Magic should be giving people is to wrap it up. Now for this week’s sponsor:
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Various Team TOB observations:
St. Louis Cardinals: Up and down, up and down. This team keeps the yoyo act going and toying with all of our emotions. Clearly this team is flawed with an inconsistent offense, good but not great starting pitching, and a bullpen that can blow up at any moment (Wednesday at Boston, last night at Pittsburg). Rosenthal going to the DL is not a good sign, he was finally settling into the closer role. The plethora of lefties have been decent (save for Cecil, the Canadian Con Man), and Brebbia has been a nice surprise. Hopefully they can patch it together long enough to finish above .500 (TOB has a bet on this). Little chance for playoffs at this point, the Cubs will end up with close to 90 wins, and 85 seems like the ceiling for this Cardinals team.
Mike Stanton: Wonder if he will change his name back to Mike if he plays somewhere other than Miami. He was part of the rebranding a few years ago when the Marlins tried to adopt the Latin culture in South Florida. The silly thing is, he’s a kid from California that doesn’t speak any Spanish. He’s about as Hispanic as I am…well, maybe a little more than that…
Max Scherzer: Having another incredible season, leading the league in WHIP and strikeouts, all while being a complete lunatic. He’s the rare case of being worth his massive contract in Washington (paging Barry Zito). If Kershaw stays out much longer with injury, Scherzer may sneak out another Cy Young. St. Louis’s own! Now this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7b_mm5TWmU
Carlos Martinez: Carlos has been a bit of an enigma since he entered the starting rotation in 2015. While making two All-Star games and having clearly electric movement on his pitches, he has yet to win more than 16 games or go over 200 innings in a season. Nit picking maybe, but he continues to be the only player the Cardinals claim is “untouchable” in a trade. That is a bit confusing, since he would probably be a number 2 or 3 starter for quite a few other teams. During a conversation about Carlos recently, TOB and Puck Buddy #1 could think of about a dozen pitchers we would rather have than Martinez. If that is the case, how can he be untradeable? For the record, the pitchers we thought of: Kershaw, Grienke, Bumgardener, Kluber, Keikel, Sale, Scherzer, Gonzalez, Degrom, Syndergaard, Strasburg, maybe Darvish and Lester. There are probably others, just one that came to mind.
These are the 10 highest similarity scores for Martinez at a similar age:
- Sammy Ellis (959.9)
- Joey Jay (959.5)
- Ray Corbin (956.3)
- Larry Demery (954.4)
- Scott Garrelts (954.1)
- Eduardo Rodriguez (951.0)
- Bob Stanley (950.7)
- John Smiley (950.0)
- Paul Hartzell (947.4)
- Bobby Bolin (943.7)
Oh yeah, old Sammy Ellis, now I feel better about CarMar...
Heyward vs. Fowler Update:
Heyward: .695 OPS through 351 PA. Back below .700, not good. Batting average has the Mendoza line (.200), perhaps .700 could be the Kozma line, after the Cardinals own Pete Kozma (still in the league, good for little Pete Kozma – career OPS: .567)
Fowler: .855 OPS through 376 PA. Fowler, so hot right now. Interestingly Fowler has basically changed what he is as a hitter during his 10th full season. That means there is still time for Heyward to become competent, he’s only in year 9. Come on J-Hey!
Manfred Mann’s League of The Blind Update:
Silky Johnson’s Player Haters (Cubs, Yankees, Tigers, Angels, Braves, Padres): Wins – 352 / Pace – 471. The Philadelphia Eagles of this league, seems like they should be better, but sadly they are not.
Dexter’s Laboratory (Red Sox, Rangers, Cardinals, Royals, Diamondbacks, Reds): Wins – 373 / Pace – 497. Getting close to overtaking the Bombers. Maybe the most well rounded group of teams.
Synderhard-on for Kershaw (Dodgers, Mets, Blue Jays, Pirates, Rays, White Sox): Wins – 362 / Pace – 484. Come on Dodgers! That’s the only chance TOB has, the rest of these teams are terrible. Next year remind me to pick the Cubs and Red Sox to ensure they have terrible seasons.
Blake Street Bombers (Nationals, Giants, Rockies, Orioles, Brewers, Twins): Wins – 375 / Pace – 499. Getting a little tight around here. Need those second place teams to keep on winning.
Cano Corn (Astros, Indians, Mariners, Marlins, Phillies, Athletics): Wins – 359 / Pace – 480. Somehow still not out of it. Apparently the entire AL West his playing well lately.
Best Moment of the Year (to date):
Apparently there is still hope for all of us to still make the MLB. Something happened this past week that TOB has never seen, a player who started on third base being thrown out at home on a single to center field. Even better, said player is not Pablo Sandoval or Yadi Molina, the two slowest humans this side of Wisconsin. No, this player is the ever infallible (his words, not mine) Matt Carpenter. Check this dummy out:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1DOvHi3wZ0
It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad.
What’s Annoying TOB this Week:
There is a Red Baron commercial where two mothers are discussing how “mother” they are. Basically comparing the gross things parents do while taking care of their kids (cleaning up spilled milk with a sock, etc.). None of the dialogue is all that interesting, except at the end, one of the Mother’s apparently outdoes the other by claiming she was able to get her family of four to finish their dinner. Dinner was a frozen pizza. Congrats, your doofy husband and two ugly kids ate a frozen pizza. Apparently being a mom is much easier than I thought.
Raging Bulls Update:
Rainout this week, two games this weekend. Need two big wins STAT. The season is coming to an end and the Bulls are looking at a 4 or 5 seed for the first time in a while. No one needs to panic, we just need to keep our composure!
Donut Shop Talk:
TOB’s father has a donut shop in south St. Louis city, “St. Louis Hills Donut Shop” at the corner of Hampton and Loughborough. Great donuts, not a lot of sports knowledge by the random customers who like to chat about the Cardinals and Blues. Occasionally TOB will hop in for a cup of coffee and a cheese flip, listening to the ramblings of borderline insane people. This section will chronicle some of those conversations.
Apparently TOB’s father is NOT back in on the Cardinals. “Trade them all, they need to start over. I’m ready for hockey season.” Well, that pretty much sums it up.
Shout out to TOB's doggy, Dylan, who turns 3 today! Pup cakes and treats are on the way buddy! Time to start acting like a grown dog...j/k you'll be a puppy for life!
-Tony on Ball
